Draco's Christmas List (H/D, PG-13)
Oct. 14th, 2007 01:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
sesheta66Title: Draco's Christmas List
Author:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
sesheta_66
Team: Aurors
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100 (x 7 drabbles)
Challenges:![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-community.gif)
dracoharry100's prompt of "book."
Summary: Draco starts his Christmas list.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. They belong to JK Rowling and her publishers. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.
Draco received an email from his favourite online bookstore. Excited to save if he purchased by the end of the month, he decided that he would make the most of his cyber-coupon.
He opened up his favourite program, Excel. He was excited at the mere prospect of a new spreadsheet! Sure, Excel was something most Muggles and Muggle-borns had discovered years before, but it was all new to Draco, and it beat writing everything in a book. Now he had worksheets. Everything set in columns and rows and ... he fidgeted in his seat waiting for the program to load.
Harry:
Option: The Joy of Sex
Comment: Equally beneficial to both of us; saves having to talk about it, so we can get right down to business; might have a few suggestions we haven't tried or even heard of yet.
Option: Subscription to Wizards' Quarterly
Comment: Improvement in wardrobe by osmosis? Easier than clubbing him over the head. Potential for improvement in gifts received. Added bonus: hot models to drool over when Harry's not around.
Option: Quidditch Monthly subscription
Comment: He'd love it. Down side: he'd probably prattle on about it endlessly. Added bonus: hot Quidditch players to drool over.
Mother:
Option: Getting the Most Out of Your House-Elf
Comment: With the depleted staff, this will help her make the most out of those remaining, thereby requiring less effort from me whenever I visit. Note: keep hidden from Hermione.
Option: Modern Methods for Maximizing Moonstone
Comment: Could help her with mood swings. Added bonus: she might be pleasant to visit more often, and might phone less.
Option: Beauty Tips for the Already Beautiful - How to Make Perfection That Much More Perfect
Comment: The title says it all. Bonus: Nobody could get her anything better; will gush over me most.
Blaise:
Option: Quidditch Monthly subscription
Comment: He loves the game, and will like the gift. Bonus: will give him and Harry something to talk about when he visits, so I don't have to keep the conversation going all the time.
Option: What Every Wizard Needs to Know About Witches
Comment: Clearly, he needs help, as his sad attempts at wooing are laughable lately. Added bonus: he'll stop asking me for advice - hello? Gay friend! What the hell am I supposed to know?
Option: Play Wizard subscription
Comment: Obvious entertainment value. Bonus: will hopefully keep him occupied, so less drop-ins.
Pansy:
Option: How to Lose a Wizard in Ten Easy Steps
Comment: She needs to drop that loser she's with. She can do so much better. Bonus: less phone calls and visits; less having to listen to TMI conversations.
Option: Beauty Tips for the Already Beautiful - How to Make Perfection That Much More Perfect
Comment: While not exactly true, and clearly doesn't match like it does with Mother, she'd be thrilled with it. Little white lies never hurt anyone ... Slytherin101. Bonus: she'll be inclined to agree to requests for favours.
Option: Play Witch subscription
Comment: See Play Wizard.
Molly:
Option: Lockhart's Lost Lessons in Love
Comment: She'd love the drivel, which would mean she might like me more; proceeds go to St. Mungo's, which funds my current research.
Arthur:
Option: How to Win on the Muggle Market
Comment: He'll love the Muggle nonsense, and he could definitely use a win in the money department.
Ron:
Option: Quidditch Monthly subscription
Comment: Probably wouldn't read anything else.
Hermione:
Option: Magical Mayhem: How to Tame Toddlers Through Teens
Comment: She needs all the help she can get with her brood. Considered 'How to Lose a Wizard', but Harry wouldn't appreciate that.
Draco saved his file, feeling very pleased. He now had a head start on his seasonal shopping list, and even got in a few for the Weasley crew. He figured he could pick out a few children's books when he ordered online, for the four Weasleys that were old enough, and a picture book Hermione and Ron could read to their latest addition. Chuckling, he even pondered the idea of purchasing a book on magical contraception methods for the couple, but he suspected that would counter all the good Molly's book would achieve.
He would really outshine everyone this Christmas.
Author:
sesheta_66 Team: Aurors
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: 100 (x 7 drabbles)
Challenges:
dracoharry100's prompt of "book."Summary: Draco starts his Christmas list.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. They belong to JK Rowling and her publishers. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.
Draco received an email from his favourite online bookstore. Excited to save if he purchased by the end of the month, he decided that he would make the most of his cyber-coupon.
He opened up his favourite program, Excel. He was excited at the mere prospect of a new spreadsheet! Sure, Excel was something most Muggles and Muggle-borns had discovered years before, but it was all new to Draco, and it beat writing everything in a book. Now he had worksheets. Everything set in columns and rows and ... he fidgeted in his seat waiting for the program to load.
Harry:
Option: The Joy of Sex
Comment: Equally beneficial to both of us; saves having to talk about it, so we can get right down to business; might have a few suggestions we haven't tried or even heard of yet.
Option: Subscription to Wizards' Quarterly
Comment: Improvement in wardrobe by osmosis? Easier than clubbing him over the head. Potential for improvement in gifts received. Added bonus: hot models to drool over when Harry's not around.
Option: Quidditch Monthly subscription
Comment: He'd love it. Down side: he'd probably prattle on about it endlessly. Added bonus: hot Quidditch players to drool over.
Mother:
Option: Getting the Most Out of Your House-Elf
Comment: With the depleted staff, this will help her make the most out of those remaining, thereby requiring less effort from me whenever I visit. Note: keep hidden from Hermione.
Option: Modern Methods for Maximizing Moonstone
Comment: Could help her with mood swings. Added bonus: she might be pleasant to visit more often, and might phone less.
Option: Beauty Tips for the Already Beautiful - How to Make Perfection That Much More Perfect
Comment: The title says it all. Bonus: Nobody could get her anything better; will gush over me most.
Blaise:
Option: Quidditch Monthly subscription
Comment: He loves the game, and will like the gift. Bonus: will give him and Harry something to talk about when he visits, so I don't have to keep the conversation going all the time.
Option: What Every Wizard Needs to Know About Witches
Comment: Clearly, he needs help, as his sad attempts at wooing are laughable lately. Added bonus: he'll stop asking me for advice - hello? Gay friend! What the hell am I supposed to know?
Option: Play Wizard subscription
Comment: Obvious entertainment value. Bonus: will hopefully keep him occupied, so less drop-ins.
Pansy:
Option: How to Lose a Wizard in Ten Easy Steps
Comment: She needs to drop that loser she's with. She can do so much better. Bonus: less phone calls and visits; less having to listen to TMI conversations.
Option: Beauty Tips for the Already Beautiful - How to Make Perfection That Much More Perfect
Comment: While not exactly true, and clearly doesn't match like it does with Mother, she'd be thrilled with it. Little white lies never hurt anyone ... Slytherin101. Bonus: she'll be inclined to agree to requests for favours.
Option: Play Witch subscription
Comment: See Play Wizard.
Molly:
Option: Lockhart's Lost Lessons in Love
Comment: She'd love the drivel, which would mean she might like me more; proceeds go to St. Mungo's, which funds my current research.
Arthur:
Option: How to Win on the Muggle Market
Comment: He'll love the Muggle nonsense, and he could definitely use a win in the money department.
Ron:
Option: Quidditch Monthly subscription
Comment: Probably wouldn't read anything else.
Hermione:
Option: Magical Mayhem: How to Tame Toddlers Through Teens
Comment: She needs all the help she can get with her brood. Considered 'How to Lose a Wizard', but Harry wouldn't appreciate that.
Draco saved his file, feeling very pleased. He now had a head start on his seasonal shopping list, and even got in a few for the Weasley crew. He figured he could pick out a few children's books when he ordered online, for the four Weasleys that were old enough, and a picture book Hermione and Ron could read to their latest addition. Chuckling, he even pondered the idea of purchasing a book on magical contraception methods for the couple, but he suspected that would counter all the good Molly's book would achieve.
He would really outshine everyone this Christmas.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 06:02 am (UTC)Hermione:
Option: Magical Mayhem: How to Tame Toddlers Through Teens
Comment: She needs all the help she can get with her brood. Considered 'How to Lose a Wizard', but Harry wouldn't appreciate that.
That made me LOL.
Nice to see you using your love of spreadsheets. I was wondering when you'd slip them in. I suppose you actually use a spreadsheet to make your Christmas list.
I loved how Draco seemed to always mention what he gets out of the gift. Very cute, very funny, and just what I needed tonight. *g*
no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 06:15 am (UTC)Ah, yes ... the spreadsheet!love must be shared. And yes, as a matter of fact, I do use a spreadsheet. I have all the "from" (me, Santa, Grandpa, Aunts & Uncles & Cousins) and "to" columns outlined. Of course there are less now, as people pass away, but there's never a time to abandon spreadsheets IMHO.
Glad you caught that about Draco ... there had to be something in it for him. *grins*
Glad I could cheer you up. *hugs*
no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 06:04 am (UTC)*LOL*
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Date: 2007-10-14 06:15 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 07:02 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 09:02 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 06:38 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 06:49 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 11:36 am (UTC)I love the Subscription to Wizards' Quarterly, the bonus comments, and, over all the spreadsheets. :D
no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 02:34 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 01:43 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 02:34 pm (UTC)Yay for spreadsheets!
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Date: 2007-10-14 02:40 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 09:49 pm (UTC)and his gift ideas, with the comments are fantastic!
very amusing fic! thanks for sharing! :)
no subject
Date: 2007-10-14 11:29 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-15 03:45 am (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-10-15 04:09 am (UTC)