On the Edge - Part 11 of A Woman Scorned (H/D, PG-13)

[sesheta66]

Title: On the Edge - Part 11 of A Woman Scorned
Author: sesheta_66
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~830
Pairing/Characters: Harry/Draco, Ginny
Challenge: awdt's prompt of "edge of reality"
Warnings: No beta. Please point out any errors you find.
Summary: Harry's resolve is waning.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. They belong to JK Rowling and her publishers. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.


Earlier parts:

Part 1 - A Valentine Surprise
Part 2 - The Plan
Part 3 - Without a Trace
Part 4 - A Beautiful Lie
Part 5 - Whatever It Takes
Part 6 - The Best Laid Plans
Part 7 - At His Wit's End
Part 8 - Last Hope
Part 9 - A Troubled Mind
Part 10 - A Mind at Rest




Part 11 - On the Edge:

Harry was anxiously awaiting Ginny's departure. He had tried not to look too happy about it. In fact, he had told her that he would miss her while she was gone. Apart from everything else, Harry was storing away these little lies of his to tell Draco. He was quite sure that his boyfriend would be impressed with Harry's newfound ability to be cunning and conniving. Living with a Slytherin seemed to rub off on a person.

A sudden, unwelcome thought entered Harry's mind, disturbing his pleasant musings about Draco. What if while he was away, Draco had discovered that Harry wasn't really worth all this trouble? What if he was so angry with Harry for not listening to him, and for refusing to believe him about Ginny? What if he was thinking, good riddance?

The more Harry thought about this, the more likely that scenario seemed. After all, it was no secret that Draco was the jealous type. It infuriated him when Ginny so much as smiled at Harry, part of the reason Harry hadn't taken his concern very seriously. But now -- it had been so long since Ginny had taken him -- would Draco have assumed the worst? Would he think that Harry had been unfaithful? Would he believe Harry when he told him that he hadn't been? Would he even care?

Harry started to feel ill. Oh, Gods, what would he do if he got out of here only to find that his life wasn't there waiting for him? Because that was truly what Draco had become for Harry. He was his life, his love, his stability, his voice of reason, his passion. He was everything.

Harry had to run to the washroom as a wave of nausea pummelled him like an ocean's wave crashing onto a rocky shore. After he was sick, Harry sat himself down on the bathroom floor, head between his knees, trying to will away the feeling of loss. It was no use, though. Without any word or news from or about anyone besides Ginny, he had nothing to counter those unbidden thoughts that kept creeping in.

It went from bad to worse then. He started imagining that everyone had thought him gone for good, or even dead. He pictured Draco's friends consoling him. Pansy, who Harry suspected had never quite got over Draco, would offer her shoulder, her support, and likely her bed.

Harry barely made it back over to the toilet that time, as the image of Pansy kissing Draco morphed into her touching him, and making love with him. Harry kept hearing Draco's moans in his head, only his mind was replacing himself with Pansy in every scenario.

Harry heard Ginny's voice in the kitchen. She was singing, or humming, or something equally annoying. Harry felt waves of other emotions entirely pass over him.

Anger. How could she do this to him? How could she say she loved him, yet hold him captive, breaking his spirit?

Frustration. How and when would he ever get out of this place? It had been so long, and he had no idea where he was or what he could do to escape without magic.

Fear. If he didn't get out of here soon, he didn't know what he would do. It was only a matter of time before everyone wrote him off and stopped looking, if they hadn't already.

That such anger, bordering on hatred, was coursing through his veins gave Harry a profound sense of unease. He was close -- so very close -- to feeling that out-of-control anger he had felt time and again on the battlefield. He needed to remain in control, or he could very well tear Ginny apart with his bare hands. He knew that if he were pushed to that point, he could actually do it. But just as clearly, he knew that he would never be able to live with himself afterwards if he did.

He was tired -- so very tired. He didn't want to keep pretending he was something he was not, pretending that he cared, pretending that he wasn't thinking of escape every waking moment. He might start believing his own lies. He had heard about that happening to people who had been kidnapped and held for a long time.

He didn't understand how someone held against his will could feel compassion for his captor. Yet wasn't that what Harry was feeling for Ginny? Not all the time, certainly, but those thoughts surfaced every once in a while. After all, he knew she was not herself. She was not well.

He likewise couldn't understand how someone could believe that their entire life that went before the kidnapping could be dismissed so easily, that they could be forgotten so quickly. Yet wasn't that what he had just been thinking himself? That Draco might just write him off as yesterday's bad news and move on? That everyone might have accepted that he was gone forever, and stopped looking for him?

Harry needed to get a grip. He was teetering on the edge of reality, and he didn't know how to keep from stepping over that edge into the abyss. He needed to do something, and soon. Before he lost his mind, or Ginny lost her life.

Part 12 - What Friends Are For

Comments

[sesheta-66.livejournal.com]

Thanks, hun. Glad you're enjoying it.