sesheta66: (Highlands Sesheta)
[personal profile] sesheta66
Title: I'll Show You Who's The Girl!
Author: [livejournal.com profile] sesheta_66
Pairing: Draco/Harry
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~700
Summary: Harry tries to make up for past deeds.
Warnings: I don't write crack!fic, so be forewarned - this be that. Rampant run-on sentences. Top!Draco.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. They belong to JK Rowling and her publishers. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

Author's Note: My darling [livejournal.com profile] melusinahp has been having a rough go of things, and requested a fic in which Draco was eating pineapple with feathers in his hair. I hope you don't mind, hon, but I veered a little bit away from the prompt. I hope it still meets your needs. And I hope they were able to recover your toes. *hugs*



I'll Show You Who's The Girl!


"Potter, what are you doing?!"

"I am making amends for not taking your hand that first day - well, actually, it was the second day, after Madame Malkin's when you totally acted like my bully of a cousin and insulted the great and honourable Hagrid - on the Hogwarts Express, thus changing the course of our lives forever, and making you turn on me with such dastardly plans that you would forever be my nemesis. Or, well, second in line after Voldemort. Well, really more of a thorn in my side than anything else."

"By putting feathers in my hair?"

"Well … yes. I mean, you could never be as EVIL as your father. Who, by the way, has very nice hair. You should grow it that long. Really."

"How will feathers make amends?"

Potter pondered that. With a deep furrowing of his brow. A pained look. A look that Draco thought - if he had ever thought about Potter that way, which of course he never did - looked surprisingly good on him. Like he was capable of deep thought.

"They make you look pretty."

Perhaps not.

"I am NOT the girl in this relationship!" Draco screamed … but most definitely not in a girly fashion. More of a manly shriek like one about to go to war. Only he was done with war. Weren't they all? It had truly, deeply affected them all … but not so much that they would ever do anything differently than they did in school.

Potter laughed. A laugh that said all was forgotten, forgiven. That he knew - just knew, deep within his soul - Draco had always been a good guy, born into his future as Potter had been born into his. It was all Lucius's fault. No. It was all Voldemort's fault. Because everything came back to him, no matter that he hadn't been around all those years Draco was growing up.

"Of course you are the girl. You are too pretty to be the boy."

Draco took some of the crystallized pineapple he had been eating - after all, Horace Slughorn had to be good for something, and it was common knowledge that he kept a supply of the confection in every room he ever entered, and as a wily, sly, sneaky, highly intelligent and crafty Slytherin, Draco had no trouble obtaining some for himself - and threw it at Potter's head. Because, though he had a wand, Potter always reduced him to handling things the Muggle way, no matter that he was raised to do things the wizarding way. Because that was what he and Potter were all about, after all.

"Ouch!"

"I'll show you who's the girl in this relationship!" Draco said.

"Relationship?" Potter squeaked. Just like a girl. Draco smirked. Because that's what Draco did. He looked very sexy when he smirked. He knew, because he had spent hours perfecting the look in front of his mirror, which had a sexy female voice - even though Draco was gay, very gay, most definitely gay, and couldn't appreciate the sultry nature of it - and told him how sexy he looked.

Potter was doomed. Draco tackled him, and when their tongues touched, their worlds practically exploded around them. Draco knew Potter felt the same way, because he used his well-honed Legilimency skills taught to him by his crazy Aunt Bellatrix - because everyone knew Potter was pants at Occlumency - to get inside his head.

And Draco proceeded to show Potter just who was the top in this relationship. Not that they were in a relationship, of course. But Draco was looking forward to tormenting the weasel and flaunting himself in front of the she-weasel. He would, of course, make amends with the Mudblood - and he would never ever call her that again - and they would become the best of friends, researching all the problems the little Gryffindorks could ever come up with. Except the she-weasel. She would continue to bed every wizard she could, and would run off to distant lands, never to be seen again.

Ah, yes. Snape - whose portrait was in Draco's bedroom and provided him with sound but surly advice - would be so proud. Well, after he got over the shock of it being Potter.


Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

Date: 2008-12-03 07:00 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] melusinahp.livejournal.com
All my fandom needs have now been met. :D

This was so funny. I think this: "But Draco was looking forward to tormenting the weasel and flaunting himself in front of the she-weasel. He would, of course, make amends with the Mudblood - and he would never ever call her that again - and they would become the best of friends, researching all the problems the little Gryffindorks could ever come up with," was my favourite bit. lmao!

Date: 2008-12-03 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Thanks, hon. Glad you enjoyed it. I never write crack!fic, and panicked when I was given angsty crack to write for hd_hols one year ... but this was too much fun. And it all just spilled out. It must have been the Spongebob pic that really inspired me. Oh, and your tale of woe, of course. *g*

Date: 2008-12-03 07:01 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] abusing-sarcasm.livejournal.com
*dies*

I love Draco's happily ever after plan. :D

Awesome! *hugs you*

Date: 2008-12-03 07:02 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee! I never write crack. This was fun!

Date: 2008-12-03 07:21 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] brknhalo241.livejournal.com
Yeah, baby! We now officially have Draco eating pineapples with feathers in his hair and topping Harry!!! And now if melusinahp can just save her toes from the rats then everything will be perfect.....

Date: 2008-12-03 07:25 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
*\o/* Yay.

Date: 2008-12-03 07:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] jamie2109.livejournal.com
Oh yeah, this was so cute. Loved Draco's happily ever after plan...especially that of Ginny. *evil grin* I think a lot of people want that to be in her future.

Loved it!

Date: 2008-12-03 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee! Thanks. It was fun to write.

Date: 2008-12-03 07:34 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] felaine.livejournal.com
Love Draco's inner voice and explanations for..everything.
Fun read.
Felaine

Date: 2008-12-03 07:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
;D Glad you enjoyed it.

Date: 2008-12-03 07:39 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lotus-lizzy.livejournal.com
I love the run on sentences! You know how I love crack...its just like the drug but better because it doesn't turn me into a toothless prostitute behind the 7-11 yelling about the price of booze.

So I've heard...:)

Date: 2008-12-03 07:44 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee. It's like the way I talk ... or at least the way my mind works, jumping here, there and everywhere without taking a breath. Glad you enjoyed it!

I may have heard mention of that too. ;)

Date: 2008-12-03 07:48 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] exx-cecilegr.livejournal.com
Ahahaha! Crack, ftw. ♥♥

Date: 2008-12-03 07:54 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-12-03 08:10 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] cleo-jay.livejournal.com
The "How will feathers make amends?" exchange had me cracking up!! And Draco using legilimens during their kiss...lol! Draco's idealised future seems ideal to me! Loved it, hon!

Date: 2008-12-12 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee! Glad you liked. :D

Date: 2008-12-03 08:23 pm (UTC)
fourth_rose: (*gigglesnort*)
From: [personal profile] fourth_rose
For. The. Win!!!

*applauds wildly*

Date: 2008-12-12 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
*bows demurely*

Date: 2008-12-03 08:47 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enablelove.livejournal.com
hahahhahha

just

hahahha

Date: 2008-12-12 05:12 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-12-03 08:52 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sisika.livejournal.com
LMAO!!! *dies*

Date: 2008-12-12 05:12 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Nooooooo! Don't die!

*revives you*

Date: 2008-12-03 09:33 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] tweeney.livejournal.com
ROTFL!!!

That. Was. Awesome!!! :D

Date: 2008-12-12 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee. Thanks.

Date: 2008-12-03 10:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] absynthedrinker.livejournal.com
What a wonderful giggle this was. Thanks

Peace,
Bubba

Date: 2008-12-12 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Thanks. I had fun. *nods*

Date: 2008-12-03 11:17 pm (UTC)
ext_90239: (Default)
From: [identity profile] faithwood.livejournal.com
LOL! FTW!

What have you been drinking? :D Gimme some!

Date: 2008-12-12 05:13 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee.

Nothing. Honestly.

Date: 2008-12-04 12:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] alaana-fair.livejournal.com
LOL! Oh that was fun! :-D

Draco smirked. Because that's what Draco did. *snuggles him*

Date: 2008-12-12 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
:D

Of course you snuggle Draco. Always!

Date: 2008-12-04 01:15 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clear-stream18.livejournal.com
That was hilarious! I love Draco's predictions (which will of course come true).

Date: 2008-12-12 05:14 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
But of course!

Date: 2008-12-04 02:22 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] i-claudia.livejournal.com
Heee that was fabulous! People are giving me strange looks because I'm sitting here giggling madly to myself. XD Love Draco's denial and scheming especially... but poor portrait!Snape! He'll be scarred for life, probably.

Date: 2008-12-12 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee! Glad I was able to make you giggle. :D

Date: 2008-12-04 06:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] enchanted-jae.livejournal.com
Ah, that's funny!

Date: 2008-12-12 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Thanks. :D

Date: 2008-12-04 07:30 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] nolagal.livejournal.com
I love the last few lines where every fandom cliche is met. So very adorable!!!

Date: 2008-12-12 05:15 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Hee! Glad you enjoyed.

Date: 2008-12-04 08:08 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lijahlover.livejournal.com
Just brilliant!

Date: 2008-12-12 05:16 pm (UTC)

Date: 2008-12-04 08:09 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] lire-casander.livejournal.com
It was crack, but it was also sweet. *loves*

Date: 2008-12-12 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Thanks, hon.

Date: 2008-12-04 01:31 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] clair3.livejournal.com
lmaoz! its so amusing

Date: 2008-12-12 05:16 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Thanks. Glad you liked it. :D

Date: 2008-12-05 09:07 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] mtranc3.livejournal.com
*squees at Draco's inner thoughts* That was brilliant!

Date: 2008-12-12 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Thanks, hon. :D

Date: 2008-12-06 10:09 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thrnbrooke.livejournal.com
Oh you sooo had me laughing!

Date: 2008-12-12 05:17 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Mission accomplished!

Date: 2008-12-17 01:26 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] idontgiveafaux.livejournal.com
hee! i loved this! draco was just so unapologetically draco throughout the whole of it :D ::le, sigh:: i have missed reading so much! this was great hon xx

Date: 2008-12-27 04:12 am (UTC)
From: [identity profile] sesheta-66.livejournal.com
Heh. Glad you enjoyed. I actually had a blast writing it. I don't usually do crack!fic, but I was oddly inspired.

Glad you're back. *squishes*
Page 1 of 2 << [1] [2] >>

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