At What Cost (Snape, PG-13)

[sesheta66]

Title:   At What Cost
Author:  sesheta_66
Rating:  PG-13
Prompt:  023 - Freedom.  Written for 100quills, prompt Set: 50.1
Word Count:  398
Summary:   Snape reflects on what brought him to 12 Grimmauld Place
Warnings:   No beta.
Notes:   This is the fourth in a series of fics about the lives of the members of the Order of the Phoenix. Each one stands alone, however, so you don‘t have to read them all …but obviously I‘d be happy if you did.
Disclaimer:   HP world belongs to JK Rowling. No money made by me - I am only playing.

1 - Time Passes (Molly)
2 - A Picture is Worth a Thousand Words (Mad-Eye, Harry)
3 - Gifts of Friendship (Harry)

Snape collapsed on his borrowed bed in a borrowed room in Sirius Black's - now Harry Potter's - house. What had the world become? What had he done to deserve this fate? As a young man, he had made a terrible choice. Sure, he had blamed other people around him - Harry's father and godfather among them - for his actions. Perhaps, if he had been accepted in school instead of shunned, if he hadn't felt the need to rely on his Slytherin classmates so much, if, if, if ...

He had long since accepted his own role in his fate. Ultimately, no matter what had happened to him, he had made his own decision to become a Death Eater. He had accepted the Dark Mark. He had been weak, and had paid for it his entire adult life.

Sure, he had a reprieve when the Dark Lord had been weakened. But he still wasn't trusted. Dumbledore trusted him, but was it out of the goodness of his heart? Was it genuine trust? Severus thought not. It was the Unbreakable Vow that secured his place in Dumbledore's fold. Nobody knew about it but the two of them, and the witness to their act. She had met her end shortly after that, one of the casualties of the first war. Severus couldn't even remember her name.

He had vowed to do whatever he could to prevent Voldemort from killing Harry, and from taking over the wizarding world. He had vowed to be loyal to Dumbledore. That was all. Dumbledore could have - and should have, in Snape's opinion - asked for so much more. But he hadn't. He said that he didn't expect him to give up his life, his ideals, or anything else. All he expected from him was loyalty, and that was what he got.

Then, a year ago, Snape had found himself in a similar position. He was up against a wall, and he had a choice to make. So he made another Unbreakable Vow with Narcissa Malfoy. He had bound himself to her as well. 

Now, after committing one act, he was free. When he killed Dumbledore, he fulfilled the vow he had made to Narcissa, and that bond had been broken. With the death of Dumbledore, his vow with him had been broken too. He finally had his freedom. But at what cost?

5.  A New Start (Draco, Harry)

Comments

[ruinithil.livejournal.com]

Oh, poor Sev! *cuddles him* This is exactly why he's my favorite character! He's gone through so much, and since the book is in Harry's perspective most of the time, we don't see that! I loved this, it's sort of bittersweet, but with the realism that just makes me want to cry and hold him tight. <3

[sesheta-66.livejournal.com]

Glad you liked it. I absolutely believe he was and remains on Dumbledore's side, no matter how the naysayers might protest.

[ruinithil.livejournal.com]

Oh, me too. I will *die* if JKR messes with him too much!

[sesheta-66.livejournal.com]

Why else would he be screaming at Harry - still teaching him to keep his mouth shut, and cast wordless spells - as he was leaving?!? He was his teacher and protector, even as Harry was trying to hex/kill him! Nobody can tell me anything different! :o)

[ruinithil.livejournal.com]

I agree completely!

[dragonlit.livejournal.com]

Nicely done, capturing Severus' inner thoughts. His acceptance of responsibility for his actions makes this particularly poignant, that despite what life had thrown at him, he would remain true to himself. And of course he was loyal to DD. ;)

[sesheta-66.livejournal.com]

Thanks darlin'. See? I do occasionally write something besides H/D! Not often, of course, but I do have this 100quills chart of 50 prompts ... 46 to go! Next one is Snape and Draco & their journey from Hogwarts to Spinner's End, to 12 Grimmauld Place. That should be an equally happy fic!

I've written way too much fluff lately ... must get my angst in somewhere!

[melmoe1.livejournal.com]

Okay this was wonderful. Snape revealing he made a vow to protect Harry fits so perfectly in my view of him. It gave me chills.

[sesheta-66.livejournal.com]

Thanks. I'm enjoying this arc, because I can address each of the characters. I'm also planning to work in the search for the horcruxes here. You know ... if I can break away from H/D fics for long enough! :o)

Thanks for reading & commenting.