No Home for the Holidays - Part 1 (H/D, PG-13)

[sesheta66]

Title: No Home for the Holidays - part 1
Author: sesheta_66
Rating: PG-13
Word Count: ~1700
Pairing/Characters: Harry, Hermione, Draco, Pansy (eventual H/D)
Summary: Against their friends' wishes, Harry and Draco, each for his own reasons, decide to remain at Hogwarts over the Christmas holidays.
Disclaimer: The characters contained herein are not mine. They belong to JK Rowling and her publishers. No money is being made from this fiction, which is presented for entertainment purposes only.

Challenges: Written for the second week of Christmas prompts:
awdt Christmas Quickies: #8 - outdoor decorations; #9 - present lists; #10 - Christmas pageants; #11 - stocking stuffers; #12 - Christmas traditions; #13 - red, white and green; #14 - visiting Santa.
dracoharry100 Christmas Challenge: Christingle; nativity; manger; wise men; tinsel; chestnuts; mince pies; eggnog/Baileys.
slythindor100 Special Holiday Challenge: #8 - upside-down Christmas tree; #9 - stockings hanging on the mantel; #10 - sexy!Santa; #11 - author's choice; #12 - naughty & nice pyjamas; #13 - naked bum Santa's helper; #14 - little guy asleep by presents with Santa hat & teddy bear. See pictures here.
harrylovesdraco: #12 - walking in a snowstorm
adventdrabbles on IJ: #8 - wreath; #9 - stocking; #10 - Father Christmas; #11 - nutcracker; #12 - ice skates; #13 - centrepiece; #14 - chestnuts roasting on an open fire.


No Home for the Holidays

"No," Harry said for the fifth time.

"But --"

"Hermione, I've told you, I'm not going. There is nothing you can say to change my mind."

"But it's Christmas."

"No, it's not. It's Christmas holidays. That's two weeks. Christmas is one day, and I told you I'd be at the Burrow for dinner."

"We can stay with you --"

"Stop it!" Harry nearly pulled his hair out by the roots. "Just … stop." He collapsed in a heap on the sofa in the common room.

Hermione stood with her hands on her hips, and Harry was reminded vividly why people didn't like her in first year. She was sometimes just too overbearing. "Harry …" she began, with that tone.

He lost it. "Hermione, you need to sit down. Now." Surprisingly, she did as he'd asked, but her look didn't change, and she crossed her arms over her chest, giving the impression that she was barely holding back.

"I'm going to tell you how I feel, and you're going to listen." He held up his hands to prevent her interrupting. "You need to let me say my peace, because I'm close to my breaking point."

She pursed her lips, but nodded her agreement.

"First, I have to tell you that I love you. And I know you mean well. But you don't know how I feel."

"How am I supposed to know, if you don't --"

"Ah!" He held up his hands again. "I told you not to interrupt, and I meant it. I will tell you how I feel. Once. And I won't discuss it again. I shouldn't have to tell you this, because you should trust the decisions that I make. But clearly you feel that you know better, so it has come to this." Harry knew he'd never spoken to her -- or anyone else -- that way before, but he was at his wit's end.

She looked offended, but said nothing.

"You take over everything, try to direct everything, try to make everything just perfect. I know your heart is in the right place, but you need to stop. Right now. First, it was the Christmas pageant you managed to convince McGonagall to have. Since then, I've let you make up present lists, try to introduce your family traditions, drag us shopping in Hogsmeade for decorations and gifts and stocking stuffers and to see that upside-down tree in the shop window. I'm surprised you didn't try dragging us to visit Santa!"

She opened her mouth as if to interrupt, but closed it again, looking quite put out.

"You've hung stockings and wreaths and put centrepieces on every surface in the common room --" He waved his arm around at a nativity scene complete with miniature wise men leaning over the manger, a Christingle, a model of children ice skating, a nutcracker, and a ceramic Father Christmas. "-- and where there isn't tinsel, you've redone the room in red, white and green. Enough already! I'm sick of the season, and Christmas is still over a week away."

"None of that explains why you won't go to the Burrow."

"I'm getting to that. I just want you to understand that I'm already feeling overwhelmed." He took a deep breath. "Here's the thing … I am alone now. Really alone. I have no family, no special person in my life."

Again, she looked like she wanted to interrupt. Harry would have laughed if the subject matter didn't make him so uncomfortable. He hated talking about his feelings, and he was irritated that he was being made to do so. But he saw no other way to stop her incessant meddling.

"Don't get me wrong. I'm okay with how things are, most of the time. It's just … well, Christmas has a way of shoving everything in my face. I have no family - not anyone that gives a rat's arse about me anyway. And before you say it, no, the Weasleys are not my family. They're as close as I can get, but they still aren't. And that's okay. Really. You and Ron - well, you're in a relationship right now, and the last thing you need is a third wheel around."

"Harry, I don't -- we don't think of you that way."

"I know you don't. Really I do. But you wanted to know how I feel, right? Well, that's it. Your relationship is still new, and you need some time alone. And I need time away from couples. It reminds me of just how alone I am. And I need to be away from Ginny. It's over between us, but I don't think she's accepted that completely. So, no. I will not be spending two weeks at the home of my ex-girlfriend and her family. As much as no one treats me that way, I will feel like an outsider. I'd rather be alone here than feel like that there."

"But … that's so sad." She got up and approached Harry.

"Don't." He got up, walked around her, grabbing his cloak on his way towards the portrait hole, avoiding the embrace he knew she was itching to give him. "You wanted to know how I feel. I just told you. I don't expect you to understand, but I do expect you to respect my feelings and back off. I won't talk about this again. And I hope you won't go around discussing this with anyone else. Including Ron and Ginny. Especially Ron and Ginny. I don't talk about this stuff for a reason. Just let it go, and trust that I know better than you for a change."

He made his way through the castle, feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He braced himself as he walked outside, into the blowing snow storm, then took a deep breath of the cool air. He wasn't happy, but he suddenly felt better than he had lately.

~*~*~*~

"This has always been my favourite picture of you." Pansy was sitting in her usual chair, holding a picture of Draco that he'd forgotten about. It was one that his mother had taken of him as a little boy, complete with a Christmas hat, asleep in front of a pile of presents and clutching his favourite teddy bear. "Remember when your mother gave it to me two years ago?"

His mother. His beautiful mother. Killed shortly after he'd returned to Hogwarts, by someone the Aurors hadn't cared enough to catch. The reality that her death wasn't considered important enough still left a sour taste in his mouth. He presumed it always would.

"Come on, Draco." Pansy's words interrupted his thoughts. She returned to the subject of his spending the Christmas holidays with her family. "It'll get your mind off things."

Draco doubted it. How could going to a home, where he'd spent countless hours with his parents, take his mind off his mother's death? "No, Pansy. I can't."

"But you can't be alone on Christmas," she pleaded.

"And I won't be. I told you I'd be there for dinner. I just … it's just that there are too many memories of my mother there. At least here … well, I won't forget, but I won't be reminded of her face at every turn."

Pansy moved to sit next to him, and put an arm around his shoulders. He leaned into her embrace, thankful for the support.

"Oh, alright, I won't press you. But you know, if you change your mind, there will be plenty of eggnog and mince pies on hand."

"I know." He smiled at his friend, thankful that she knew when not to push. He sat up straight, eager to change the subject. "So … you said you needed some help with something?"

"Oh, yes!" Her face lit up and she scurried off to her dorm. When she returned, she had a bag with her. "Here!" She thrust two cards at him. One had a picture of a well-built man, naked, with his bum towards the camera, a gift in hand, and a Santa hat on. The other was of a man lounging on his side, wearing a red and white Santa's helper costume, opened to reveal a well-defined chest and stomach.

Draco grinned. "Yes," he said simply.

"So you approve?"

"Well, that depends on what you plan to do with them."

"Send them out, of course."

Had he been drinking, Draco would surely have choked. "You aren't seriously considering sending these to your family?" he asked.

She chuckled. "No, silly. I have perfectly appropriate cards with winter scenes, children roasting chestnuts over the fire, sleigh rides, all that rot. But I wanted something special for my friends. So which do you prefer?"

"They're both delicious. Why not send both? You could send this one --" He waved the naked card around. "-- to your more cheeky friends."

"Ha, ha. Very funny."

"Not funny, darling. Witty. I am known for my wit."

"And your impeccable taste in attractive men," Pansy added.

"Mmm. That too."

"And what do you think of these?" she asked, pulling a pair of pyjama pants from the bag. One side was white with the word naughty repeated in red, and the other side was red with the word nice repeated in white. Flannel. Plebeian. He shuddered.

"For whom?" he asked.

"Why me, of course!" She giggled. "Can't get through the holiday season without tormenting my mother somehow."

"Ah … to be a fly on the wall."

"You could be there," she tried again. "Then you could witness her reaction yourself."

"Nice try, Pansy. But you know she'll hold back if I'm present. Best if you get her full reaction, then tell me about it." He got up and stretched. "If that's all for now, I'll be off."

"Off at this time? Where are you going?"

"Walk," he replied.

"Let me put these things away, and I'll join you."

"No, thanks." He leaned over and kissed her cheek. "I need to be on my own for a little while."

She pouted, but didn't press. "Alright, then."

He put on his cloak, left the common room and made his way upstairs. The cool night air was just what he needed to clear his head.

Part 2